What to Say When There’s Abuse in the Relationship
Finding the courage to name what’s happening—and the truth that God never calls you to stay in harm’s way.
Sometimes, we don’t need the right words as much as we need the right response.
If you're in a relationship where control, manipulation, fear, or harm are present—please hear this:
Abuse is never God's will.
Not in marriage. Not in family. Not in any relationship.
And yet, I know it’s complicated. You may love the person. You may have history. You may feel pressure to stay for the sake of appearances, kids, or even faith. But love does not mean enduring harm.
So what do you say when you finally reach your limit?
You say:
“This is not love. And I will not stay silent about it.”
“I am not crazy. What I’m experiencing is real, and it’s not okay.”
“God doesn’t want me to shrink in fear. He wants me to walk in truth.”
“Help me, Lord, to believe that I matter too.”
And if you're the friend or family member hearing someone's story of abuse, you can say:
“I believe you.”
“You don’t deserve this.”
“You are not alone, and I will help you find safety.”
Scripture reminds us:
“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalm 9:9
“Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:4
Abuse hides in silence. Truth brings it into the light.
Let’s not confuse forgiveness with enabling. Let’s not confuse suffering with submission.
There is no freedom in false peace.
If this is you,
please seek wise counsel, safe support, and don’t walk alone.
Jesus came to set captives free not to keep them trapped in cycles of fear.